Past Lives, Future Masculinities

When 2023 began, I was not expecting a man who wrote a book called “Boner” to be one of my favorite characters of the year.

By Farouk Kannout

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The first few pages of Anne Carson’s Autobiography of Red have stuffed themselves into the folds of my brain. “Are there many little boys who think they are a Monster? But in my case I am right…” Geryon’s words have echoed through my mind countless times since I first read them. The answer, I think, is yes, there are many little boys who think they are monsters. I myself felt the same for much of my childhood. The first time you feel shame is a formative moment. It affects how you will behave for the rest of your life. For many young boys, their first encounter with shame will come from expressing emotion, from admitting openly that something has affected them. The first time I got told to “man up,” I caved into myself. As I looked around my inner thoughts, I came to the conclusion that there was something about me that was inherently wrong, something that needed to be fixed. It wasn’t until much later in my life that I realized how much of my feelings of shame came from the image of masculinity that was forced upon me rather than anything intrinsic within me. I’m thankful that I’ve gone down a path in life that has made me realize that men can and should be vulnerable and kind, and that has made it clear to me that monstrosity is not an inevitability.